The Ox, The Ass, and The Price of Carrying Other People’s Burdens
A timeless Babylonian parable and what it teaches us about loans, boundaries, and self-respect
The Parable that Still Speaks Today
In George S. Clason’s The Richest Man in Babylon, one of the most overlooked but deeply insightful stories is that of the ox and the ass. Told by a Babylonian spear maker seeking advice about lending gold, this parable is short—but its wisdom runs deep.
One day, the ox complained to the ass, saying:
"Life is unfair. Every day I must labor hard in the fields while you rest in the shade. I wish I could have your life for a while."The ass, feeling sorry for his friend, whispered back:
"Then, tomorrow, lie down and pretend to be sick. The farmer will not work you, and you can rest as I do."The ox followed the ass’s advice. The next morning, he lay down and refused to get up. The farmer, seeing this, said:
"The ox is ill. Put the ass in the yoke to do the ox's work."And so, the ass was forced to plow the fields all day in the hot sun while the ox rested.
That evening, when the ass returned, hot and exhausted, the ox asked how it had gone. The ass replied:
"I did your work and mine as well. It was a hard day, and I suffered much."Then the ass warned the ox:
"I heard the farmer say, ‘If the ox is not better tomorrow, he will be slaughtered.’"Upon hearing this, the ox was alarmed. The next morning, he rose early and went back to work without a complaint.
This simple tale is about responsibility, enabling behavior, and self-preservation-themes that hit home in our modern lives more than we realize
1. The Burden of Family Loans
Imagine you’ve worked hard, saved money, and finally started to feel a bit financially stable. Then, a sibling or cousin asks for a loan “just until next month.” You know they aren’t great with money. Maybe they don’t keep a job long or they’ve borrowed before without paying back.
Out of guilt or love, you lend them the money.
They don’t repay it. Suddenly, you're behind on your own bills or worse, you borrow from someone else to make ends meet. You’ve become the ass, pulling double duty while they rest.
Just like in the parable, you carried someone else’s burden and now you're feeling the weight. They haven’t changed, but now you’re suffering for their choices.
2. At Work: The Reliable One Always Gets More
You’ve seen this. Maybe you are this.
You're a dependable team member. Every time someone drops the ball, your boss turns to you to clean up the mess. Your colleague called in sick again? You’ll stay late. Someone missed a deadline? You’ll cover.
At first, it feels like being a team player. But over time, the burden builds up and it’s not shared.
The lesson here? Be helpful, yes. But don’t let yourself become the ass in the story: constantly pulling the weight of others who’ve decided to rest, knowing you’ll pick it up.
3. In Relationships: Emotional Labor
Whether it’s a friendship or a romantic relationship, one-sided emotional labor is heavy.
If you're always the one calling, checking in, solving problems, making peace, or planning everything eventually you burn out. You start resenting the very people you're trying to help.
Just like the ass, you start doing the heavy emotional plowing while the other person enjoys the shade
The Wisdom in the Tale
Rodan shared this story when seeking advice on whether to lend gold to his sister’s husband. The lesson wasn’t about being selfish it was about being wise.
✅ Help people but make sure they are willing to help themselves.
✅ Don’t enable laziness or avoidable mistakes.
✅ If someone won’t pull their own weight, your help won’t teach them it’ll only burden you.
✅ Sometimes, the kindest thing you can do is say “no” and let them face the consequences that push them to grow.
Final Thought
There is no pride in carrying what someone else should be carrying. Before you say yes to the next favor, ask yourself:
"Is this helping or is this enabling?"
Sometimes the best gift you can offer isn’t your money, time, or labor, it’s the space for them to learn to carry their own yoke.
Did this story resonate with you?
Hit the comment button and share your own “ox and ass” moment, let’s learn from each other.